Snipe.Net Geeky, sweary things.

My Favorite Lorem Ipsums

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I’ve been under the weather for a few days, but I’m also overdue for a post. Rather than one of my usual tirades, I’m treating you to something light with almost no nerdrage whatsoever. But don’t worry. Once I’m feeling better, I’ll be back to my old ragey self.

There are times when you need to use placeholder text in a design, on a site, etc. Typically, lorem ipsum text is used.

From Wikipedia:

In publishing and graphic design, lorem ipsum is placeholder text (filler text) commonly used to demonstrate the graphics elements of a document or visual presentation, such as font, typography, and layout. The lorem ipsum text is typically a section of a Latin text by Cicero with words altered, added and removed that make it nonsensical in meaning and not proper Latin.

Lipsum.Com (or Blind Text, if you’re a little more picky about your latin garbletygook) have always been useful tools for this, but over the years, a few new resources have come out that might make your design work more fun. Not all are safe for work – or at least safe for clients – but they bring me joy.

Sagan Ipsum (one of my personal faves)
Sample: Made in the interiors of collapsing stars worldlets, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence? Rig Veda circumnavigated light years. Rig Veda sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.

ICanHazIpsum.Com
Sample: Feathurz iz noice nom hunnae apwn. Sink nom bere yu samez how lol pour. Nuthing samez flowerz oh hoi wut lol hunnae. Jest herrow nuthing loike wut donutz herrow evryfink. Pour nom sheeze teh funnae wuv. Wtf nom nuthing haz do watzzup? carz notise. Notise pour wtf cheezeburger samez yu teh. Feathurz oh sink meeeow wtf. Owwch do nuthing ur ya. Ya chz notise r. Nom hoi saiz ur ur scratchin r ded taytoes. Nom nom evryfink watzzup? bukket evrybody nozzing samez. Watzzup? compewters samez saiz dum hai ded.

DoggoIpsum (by @mikeleeorg)
Sample: Doggo ipsum shooberino ruff noodle horse lotsa pats he made many woofs adorable doggo, woofer borkdrive very jealous pupper. Smol borking doggo with a long snoot for pats heck long water shoob shibe bork, borkf puggo corgo snoot, doge much ruin diet fat boi. Vvv very hand that feed shibe clouds, shoober. borking doggo heckin good boys. Puggorino long bois borking doggo heckin angery woofer puggo blep, doggo fluffer long water shoob.

Godfather Ipsum
Sample:  Godfather ipsum dolor sit amet. That’s my family Kay, that’s not me. I don’t like violence, Tom. I’m a businessman; blood is a big expense. Te salut, Don Corleone. Why did you go to the police? Why didn’t you come to me first? Friends and money – oil and water.

Swearem Ipsum by @alistairfindlay
Sample: Swearem ipsum minge sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aliquam scelerisque accumsan nisl, wee mattis eros vestibulum et. Vestibulum placerat purus ut nibh aliquam fringilla. Aenean et tortor diam, id tempor elit. Vivamus sagittis ornare tempor. Nullam lacinia metus vel diam tempor et consequat ligula porttitor. Vestibulum mollis pellentesque hendrerit. Sed bollocks venenatis accumsan. Quisque ut gravida metus. Nam sed neque magna, in fermentum ligula. Praesent a diam tincidunt odio semper consequat.

Related: Lorem Fucking Ipsum
Sample: Your rapidograph pens are fucking dried up, the x-acto blades in your bag are rusty, and your mind is dull. Stop clicking your mouse, get messy, go back to the basics and make something fucking original. Design is all about fucking relationships—the relationship of form and content, the relationship of elements, the relationship of designer and user. This design is fucking brilliant. Respect your fucking craft. Don’t fucking lie to yourself. The details are not the details.

Gangsta Lorem Ipsum
Sample: Lorizzle ipsizzle dolizzle sit amizzle, consectetuer adipiscing shit. Nullam sapien pizzle, you son of a bizzle volutpizzle, shizzlin dizzle shizznit, gravida vizzle, get down get down. Pellentesque tortor. Sizzle pimpin’. Dang nizzle dolor mah nizzle turpizzle tempus pimpin’. Mauris pellentesque check out this izzle turpizzle. My shizz izzle tortor. Pellentesque eleifend rhoncus nisi. In crazy habitasse platea dictumst. Uhuh … yih! dapibizzle. Curabitizzle tellus fo shizzle mah nizzle fo rizzle, mah home g-dizzle, pretizzle eu, dope ac, ma nizzle vitae, break it down. Pot sizzle. Integer for sure velizzle sizzle stuff.

Samuel L. Ipsum (Samuel L. Jackson ipsum generator)
Sample: Look, just because I don’t be givin’ no man a foot massage don’t make it right for Marsellus to throw Antwone into a glass motherfuckin’ house, fuckin’ up the way the nigger talks. Motherfucker do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass, ’cause I’ll kill the motherfucker, know what I’m sayin’?

The Vatican Assassin (Charlie Sheen ipsum generator)
Sample: It’s being directed and written by a genius name David Ward who – oh, I don’t know – won the Academy Award at 23 for writing The Sting. And it was his pen and his vision that created the classic that we know today as Major League. No. She’s not there now. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to WRITE. Clearly, someone who believes he is above the law. Well, you’ve been warned, dude. Bring it.

Hipster Ipsum
Sample: Four loko pop-up wolf dreamcatcher, keffiyeh butcher adipisicing. Minim cred beard pariatur DIY. Fixie enim delectus seitan next level fugiat, chillwave mustache. Craft beer art party anim, gentrify excepteur pariatur minim. Before they sold out banh mi sustainable sunt mumblecore viral. Post-ironic nesciunt cred, non sustainable nihil vegan organic mixtape american apparel reprehenderit consequat. Aute fap sustainable, quis adipisicing ut banh mi.

Agency Ipsum
Sample: Grow below the line with a goal to create actionable insights. Grow user stories with a goal to infiltrate new markets. Repurposing relevant and engaging content and try to disrupt the balance. Leading user engagement to, consequently, target the low hanging fruit. Synchronise best in class and above all, create synergy.

Startupsum
Sample: Partnership angel investor customer market supply chain. Product management non-disclosure agreement business-to-business focus gamification seed money burn rate business-to-consumer market. Hypotheses angel investor client direct mailing product management startup branding pivot seed money innovator handshake. Monetization user experience pivot mass market startup hypotheses ownership non-disclosure agreement stealth angel investor scrum project crowdsource stock.

Bacon Ipsum by @GunGeekATX
Sample: Sirloin fatback corned beef, tri-tip frankfurter flank prosciutto salami ham hock kielbasa. Pork belly fatback pastrami jowl short loin shoulder, meatball pork chop. Ribeye chuck turducken ground round. Flank sausage turducken, shoulder tongue bresaola ball tip tail pancetta boudin kielbasa pork loin meatball chicken corned beef. Jowl frankfurter prosciutto, short loin hamburger leberkas strip steak turducken sirloin kielbasa meatball.

Web 2.0 Ipsum (by @mikeleeorg)
Sample: Eskobo goowy manjam. Guba simpy bebo, zecco plazes moola gpokr. Idio moola umundo zingee jaxtr mikons foldera doostang! Soonr mog xuqa picasa wablet librivox calcoolate gpokr etsy. Meebo rollyo gataga, moo zingee geesee, fooky areae. Jangl loomia zapr meetro plazes megite tello. Vimeo bordee wikio furl zudeo klostu.

Coffee Ipsum
Sample: Kopi-luwak, est shop so at skinny kopi-luwak qui and coffee filter. Espresso brewed in plunger pot aroma cream siphon viennese brewed wings white. Cultivar café au lait java, whipped, grinder sugar steamed cream kopi-luwak.

Fillerama (ipsum text from Doctor Who, Futurama, Star Wars, Monty Python and the Simpsons)
Sample: Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat. Oh, you’re a dollar naughtier than most. I just told you! You’ve killed me!

MaleVole Text Generator (TV theme songs)
Sample: I never spend much time in school but I taught ladies plenty. It’s true I hire my body out for pay, hey hey. I’ve gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Raquel Welch. But when I end up in the hay it’s only hay, hey hey. I might jump an open drawbridge, or Tarzan from a vine. ‘Cause I’m the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine.

TV Ipsum
Sample: Love exciting and new. Come aboard were expecting you. Love life’s sweetest reward Let it flow it floats back to you. Sunday Monday Happy Days. Tuesday Wednesday Happy Days. Thursday Friday Happy Days.Saturday what a day. Groovin’ all week with you. We’re gonna do it. On your mark get set and go now.

Zombie Ipsum
Sample: Zombie ipsum brains reversus ab cerebellum viral inferno, brein nam rick mend grimes malum cerveau cerebro. De carne cerebro lumbering animata cervello corpora quaeritis. Summus thalamus brains sit​​, morbo basal ganglia vel maleficia? De braaaiiiins apocalypsi gorger omero prefrontal cortex undead survivor fornix dictum mauris.

Pirate Ipsum
Sample: Swing the lead aft wherry Davy Jones’ Locker log fire in the hole fore broadside long clothes Shiver me timbers. Walk the plank mizzen American Main hempen halter cackle fruit knave deadlights chantey ye ho. Dance the hempen jig draught Jack Ketch heave to blow the man down gun crack Jennys tea cup quarter coxswain crimp.

IT Crowd Ipsum
Sample: No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they’re not just the Emergency Services, they’re your Emergency Services. No, no, that’s the music you heard when it come on. You know, it’s high tide. But we’re not on the coast. I’m closed for maintenance! Closed for maintenance? I’ve fallen to the communists! Well, they do have some strong arguments. I’ll put this over here, with the rest of the fire.

The Postmodernism Generator
Sample: The primary theme of the works of Rushdie is a self-justifying reality. The main theme of la Fournier’s[1] essay on textual narrative is the collapse of precultural class. It could be said that Baudrillard uses the term ‘postdialectic cultural theory’ to denote not discourse, as capitalist theory suggests, but subdiscourse.

Cupcake Ipsum
Sample: Soufflé carrot cake jelly-o candy applicake dragée. Jujubes croissant gingerbread croissant applicake chupa chups tiramisu fruitcake dragée. Oat cake cupcake jujubes. Chocolate lollipop lemon drops lollipop tart. Cotton candy bonbon toffee marzipan. Chocolate bar tootsie roll cheesecake ice cream cookie tart. Muffin jujubes bear claw. Candy canes bonbon caramels topping dessert chocolate cake. Marzipan cake cookie fruitcake. Jelly-o faworki powder. Bear claw tootsie roll bonbon cupcake cotton candy bonbon faworki bonbon. Gummi bears croissant bear claw sesame snaps wypas. Carrot cake macaroon applicake macaroon fruitcake lemon drops oat cake.

UnitedIpsums (political jargon generator)
Sample (Ron Paul): Get rid of it. We cannot talk about the budget deficit and spiraling domestic spending without looking at the costs of maintaining an American empire of more than 700 military bases in more than 120 foreign countries. It is true that liberty is not free, nor is it easy. The moral and constitutional obligations of our representatives in Washington are to protect our liberty, not coddle the world, precipitating no-win wars, while bringing bankruptcy and economic turmoil to our people. The results, though, are frightening and will soon become even more so. It is true that liberty is not free, nor is it easy. Subservient societies neither maintain nor deserve freedom for long. It is not we non-interventionists who are isolationsists.

make|TEXT (text from the Bible, The Kama Sutra, Wuthering Heights and more)
Sample: She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit.

Image Placeholders

As an added bonus, here are a few of my favorite image placeholder services. Certainly, DummyImage.Com or Placehold.it are fine for most things, but occasionally you may want something with a little more flair.

PlaceKitten

Placedog.Com (alternative: Placepuppy)

BaconMockup (also by @GunGeekATX)

PlaceSheen.Com (of course this exists.)

A serious note – if you’re looking for non-silly placeholder art that actually has some context to the topic of your project, check out these two, both of which allow you to specify topics:

flickholdr

lorempixel

About the author

snipe

I'm a tech nerd from NY/CA now living in Lisbon, Portugal. I run Grokability, Inc, and run several open source projects, including Snipe-IT Asset Management. Tweet at me @snipeyhead, skeet me me at @snipe.lol, or read more...

By snipe
Snipe.Net Geeky, sweary things.

About Me

I'm a tech nerd from NY/CA now living in Lisbon, Portugal. I run Grokability, Inc, and run several open source projects, including Snipe-IT Asset Management. Tweet at me @snipeyhead, skeet me me at @snipe.lol, or read more...

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