Snipe.Net Geeky, sweary things.

Free (Silly) Ringtones


I spent (wasted?) too much of today making mp3 ringtones. Since I went through the trouble of creating them, I figured I’d post them, in case anyone wants them as well (assuming your phone can play mp3s). Most of these are clipped to under 30 seconds, but there are a few that are a bit longer.

Most are set at about 48 Constant Bit Rate, however some are a little higher, and the long ones may have been saved at a lower Bit Rate to reduce filesize. I edited most of these myself (all actually, except for the pop music stuff) so blame my editing if it doesn’t capture exactly the bits you wanted.

UPDATE: These links are working again – thanks to @Teifion for bringing the broken links to my attention.
UPDATE Dec 2009: Added a few more, mostly from classic cartoons (“Small fry” and Owl Jolson’s “I love to Singa” and a few from Rankin/Bass’ The Hobbit.)

Family Guy:
* Chumbawumba – 122K (20 seconds)
* Quagmire “Giggitty” – 10k (1 second)
* “I’m a Tumor” song – 59k (8 seconds)
* Stewie: “For the next 5 hours, you’re my bitch” – 22k (3 seconds)
* Quagmire: “Why are you still here?” – 72k (9 seconds)
* Creepy old guy’s answering machine messages to Chris – 194k (49 seconds)
* “Can’t touch me” song – 180k (22 seconds)
* “Why did the dinosaurs die out?” “Because you touch yourself at night” – 30k (4 seconds)
* Chris: “You dropped something – my jaw. Aww right….” – 61k (8 seconds)
* Mayor West: “You are a filthy whore” – 19k (2 seconds)
* Stewie: “Go fuck yourself” – 7k (2 seconds)
* Peter: “Jeez, what a bitch” – 7k (2 seconds)
* Shatner: “Kahn!!” – 146k (18 seconds)
* Brian: “Peanut butter jelly time” – 142k (21 seconds)
* Stewie: “My fat baby loves to eat” song – 206k
* Stewie talking to Brian about his novel – 223k (45 seconds)
* Peter: “Up in my bum” Christmas song – 44k (5 seconds)
* Louis/Stewie: “Worst mother” – 23k (3 seconds)
* “You have AIDS” song – 212k (43 seconds)

* Grunka Lunka “secret ingredient” – 118k (12 seconds)
* Hypnotoad (Loop) – 45k

Space Ghost Coast to Coast:
* Brak: Beef log – 111k
* Brak: “I’m a cucumber” – 193k
* Space Ghost/Brak: “Minky Boodle” – 156k
* Zorak: “We like girls” – 135k

Robot Chicken:
* Apocalypse Pony – 194k

The Hobbit (Rankin/Bass)
* Down to Goblin Town
* That’s What Bilbo Baggins Hates
* Funny Little Things (Fifteen Birds)

Return of the King (Rankin/Bass)
* Where There’s a Whip There’s a Way

Misc Cartoons
* Small Fry (Max Fleischer’s classic cartoon)
* I love to Singa

* Not Easy Being Green – 159k (27 seconds)
* Swedish Chef bork bork bork – 87k (8 seconds)
* Fraggle Rock theme – 134k (22 seconds)
* Kermit: “Who let the frogs out?” song – 158k (26 seconds)
* New Sound song – 235k (30 seconds)
* Habanera (by Beaker and the Swedish Chef)
* Podlings Song from The Dark Crystal – 208k

Charlie the Unicorn:
* Charlie – 82k
* Candy Mountain song – 247k
* Joy and joyness – 53k
* Liopleurodon – 57k
* Shun the non-believer – 86k
* Wake up, Charlie – 87k

Winnie the Pooh:
* “Up, Down, Touch the Ground” song – 165k (24 seconds)

* “Heeeere snipe”

Jonathan Coulton:
* RE: Your Brains (Chorus)
* Mr. Fancy Pants (Chorus)

Finding Nemo:
* Dory: “Just keep swimming” – 50k (5 seconds)
* Sea Turtle: “Duuuuude” – 90k (13 seconds)
* Dory: “Speaking whale” – 179k (18 seconds)
* Dory: “My squishy” – 64k (9 seconds)

* Coca-Cola: “Lime in the coconut” – 174k (25 seconds)
* Honda Element: “I peench” – 188k (27 seconds)
* Skittles: Yodeling rabbit – 188k (27 seconds)

Weird Al:
* Harvey the wonder hamster – 165k
* White and nerdy – 235k
* Gotta boogie – 235k

Misc. Movies:
* Little Mermaid: “Maybe he’s right, maybe there is something the matter with me” – 24k
* Robots: “Get up offa that thing” – 235k

* Beck: “Loser” – 151k
* Jane Siberry: “Everything reminds me of my dog” – 244k
* Dixie Chicks: “Goodbye Earl” – 71k
* Fergie – “London Bridge” – 198k
* VIllage People: “YMCA” – 235k

Dr. Demento:
* Carrot juice is murder – 205k
* Junk food junkie – 235k

Misc. (funny):
* “Ding, fries are done” (Burger King) – 228k
* Gay muppet bar – 247k
* Bilbo Baggins (by Nimoy) – 235k
* Ren and Stimpy: “Log” – 180k
* Steve Martin & David Letterman yelling “Vagina!”
* Cheech’s “Pussy” speech in ‘From Dusk Til Dawn’

Misc. (not funny):
* Mercy – 238k
* Party & Bullshit (Biggie remix by Ratatat)
* Halo 3 ODST Live-Action Commercial song (“Lament”)
* Scene from the movie ‘Carrie’ – “They’re all going to laugh you!” (thanks, @prp2!)
* End of Vincent Price spoken intro to “Black Widow”

Monty Python:
* Lovely bunch of coconuts – 167k
* Altzheimers answering machine – 199k

About the author


I'm a tech nerd from NY/CA now living in Lisbon, Portugal. I run Grokability, Inc, and run several open source projects, including Snipe-IT Asset Management. Tweet at me @snipeyhead, skeet me at, or read more...

By snipe
Snipe.Net Geeky, sweary things.

About Me

I'm a tech nerd from NY/CA now living in Lisbon, Portugal. I run Grokability, Inc, and run several open source projects, including Snipe-IT Asset Management. Tweet at me @snipeyhead, skeet me at, or read more...

Get in Touch