Crazy Homeless Fanbois FTW!


If I ever become famous enough to have fans, I’m pretty sure this is how it will play out.

Dollhouse Emergency Meeting

As regular readers know, I am currently homeless. Nevertheless, I love Eliza Dushku and want to save her show.
There will be an emergency meeting to save Dollhouse.

Dollhouse unofficial fansite Tore loves Eliza <3

The meeting will be held on January 14, 2010 in the Downtown Central library in Minneapolis from 1 pm to 3 pm. Mostly collecting signatures for the petition, though I may make some brief remarks.

I planned to discuss the meeting by putting up signs with the Downtown Improvement District. The receptionist behind the desk rejected my sign as too unprofessional and in my personal interest.

There are so many things wrong with this, I’m not even sure where to start. “Emergency”, “Dollhouse”, and “Meeting” are three words that should never be used in the same sentence. Or at least in order. Something like “It’s an emergency, my daughter is choking on her dollhouse and I am in a meeting” is fine. Well maybe not fine, but help will be on the way soon enough.

So, fine. The first line of this page comes off a little crazy start, but I’m totally willing to give this guy a chance . “As regular readers know, I am currently homeless. Nevertheless, I love Eliza Dushku and want to save her show.”

In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit, I’m not a Dushku fan. In my home, I refer to her as “Douche-koo”. I liked what Dollhouse was starting to become, and I respect that Jos had to make a lot of concessions to keep the network happy. I am not saying I wanted it canceled. Just saying that the look on her face is a cross between what one looks like immediately after being hit in the head with a two-by-four, and trying way way way too hard to look sexy to the point where she looks sleepy and dopey. Maybe she’s got a few other dwarves jammed up there, too. She’s cute, when she’s not making that face – but still not the fap-fodder most of the men I know seem to think she is. I digress.

What makes it awesome, and reminds me of the fan following I may someday dare to dream of having: My fan club will definitely be populated with “unprofessional” sci-fi addicted homeless guys skyping and blogging from their Linux laptops while smearing themselves with their own feces and hand-scrawling crazy signs in creepy serial-killer handwriting. (Yes, yes he does run Linux. I’m only guessing about the feces, though.)

I’ll have my own Beowulf cluster of crazy. It will be great. You’ll see.

Update Feb 9, 2010: Crazy Homeless Dushku Guy apparently found this blog post – and called us misguided. Pure gold.

“In any event, I’ve tried to set the record straight by providing people with access to my medical records which state clearly that I am not a threat to myself or anyone else and that Dr. Tom Grace acknowledged that I am in love with Eliza Dushku.”

I don’t recall ever implying that he was a threat to himself or others. Hilarious, yes. A threat, no. Also, I’m not sure having a doctor acknowledge that you’re “in love” with a movie star is the right play in the “see, I told you I’m not crazy” game. Ask Jodie Foster.

Whatever, crazy dude. I’m not actually hating on you at all. I think you’re fabulous (questionable choice in linux distros notwithstanding), in the way that crazy people are. Soldier on, buddy. And good luck to you.

Via [Tore Simonson Loves Eliza] via [EmailsFromCrazyPeople]

Completely unrelated to this story, I had to include the full-size blog image in this post, so you could really bask in how awesome it is. Please to enjoy.

  • Vamsmack

    Somehow I think if you can't master the art of holding down permanent accommodation maybe saving dollhouse should be the least of his concerns. It concerns me that homeless people are on the net as well, am I now going to have pan handlers on twitter trying to get my spare Paypal change?

  • Hah – yeah. As I read more of his blog, I start to *almost* feel badly for him. He's clearly mentally ill. But then I remember that mental illness is funny when it's not you, and I feel better.

  • Vamsmack

    ROFL! I think we just reserved our pikes in hell. Also how the fuck does he watch TV whilst homeless I know there is free WiFi around but in my experience it has always sucked balls.

  • Heheh – I can't speak for you, but I'm fairly certain that mine's been reserved for a while now :DNot sure about the TV thing – maybe hotspots, maybe the shelter has cable? (That's all I need – thoughts of my tax dollars going to assist homeless dudes wanking off to sci-fi shows. Wait, we have that here already – it's called prison.)

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  • Vamsmack

    Yeah at least we won't be lonely in hell 😉 Joss should potentially hire this guy as a writer, given the last season of Dollhouse he may have helped at points.