Proving once again that unicorns can be badass, (and sometimes whatever the complete opposite of badass is), I give you the Avenging Unicorn Playset.


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This toy is worth the thirteen bucks for the description written on the back of the box alone:

Doesn’t everyone want an imaginary unicorn friend that can be called upon to smite one’s enemies? Well, now you have the chance to get a plastic equivalent of such a fantastical beast with the Avenging Unicorn Play Set. Each boxed set includes four figures and four interchangeable horns for the white unicorn figure, which stands 3.75-inches tall.

In addition to the mighty horned beast, he includes three humans which may be impaled on his horn: a new age woman, a business man, and a mime, each of which are 3.125-inches tall. Do you believe? Unicorns are magical creatures that exist only for those who believe.

When they are not frolicking in dewy meadows or posing on windy cliffs they are helping believers do away with daily annoyances. Does the New Age lady at the bookstore get on your nerves when she starts ranting about her latest encounter with an ancient warrior spirit? Are you tired of being accosted by the creepy mime who thinks he deserves a quarter for pretending to be trapped in a box?

Does that arrogant businessman in the well-pressed suit drive you crazy with loud talking on his cell phone in a crowded elevator? Close your eyes, take a deep breath and summon a unicorn. If you believe in the magic of unicorns with all your heart and soul they will answer your call.

The Unicorn Code:
[starlist]

  • Unicorns never lie.
  • Unicorns always lend a helping hand.
  • Unicorns are loyal.

[/starlist]

I’ve had this playset on my desk for a few years now, along with the crazy cat lady action figure and the Horrified B-Movie Victims Playset, and I can say hands-down that it’s my favorite toy in my weird-stuff-to-keep-coworkers-away arsenal.

$12.95 on [Amazon.Com]

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I’m a tech geek/dev/infosec-nerd/scuba diver/blacksmith/sword-fighter/crime fighter/ENTP/warcrafter/activist. I'm the CTO at Mass Mosaic and the CEO of Grokability, Inc. in San Diego, CA. Tweet at me @snipeyhead or read more...